~ Movies: The first 8(ish) minutes, reviewed. ~
“His reviews aren't anything, they're not funny, they're not scary, they're not dramatic, they are incomplete for no reason and they're not interesting. The reviews exist solely to ‘preview’ a film despite only watching it for 8 minutes.”
— Matt Forrester
May 6, 2026
way better than the first ten minutes of Scream 7
May 5, 2026
Jimmy Chin really mixed it up with this one. Much more cinematic. Almost seems scripted. If I didn't know any better, I could swear some of it was CGI. It's bold to start off with a big accident, it's a bit disturbing to keep filming after something like that. And it's unlike him to not honor the dead a bit more by telling us his life story first.
Anyway, this has been 9 minutes of Apex, the worst climbing movie I've seen started this year.
May 2, 2026
I don't really know what to say...
This series went from making fun of itself, to making fun of itself making fun of itself.... am I making any sense? Maybe that's a long way of saying not funny.
In terms of plot, predictable. Pretty bad chase scene that seemed weirdly edited.
It could get better, but so far I'm not very invested.
🔪🔪
February 6, 2026
Too many songs.
2/5
*Two many
February 4, 2026
The scene is set: a ruthless gang mercilessly slaughtered by an even more ruthless gang. The more ruthless gang is not only merciless, but also runs an illegal (I assume) gambling ring, and does choreographed dances to celebrate after a slaughter. Doesn't get more ruthless than a choreographed dance after chopping someone's leg off with a thrown axe and then shooting a woman in the back. The police are useless and are powerless to fight back.
Meanwhile, the only hope to rid the city of this menace comes from the poorest part of town, where manual labor keeps him resilient and strong as shit. Despite being poor, there's a sense of community. People help and protect each other here.
Intentional shot choices quickly convey the vibe. A montage of black and white photos, meaning this must be based on real events. Action that tells a story instead of just being "cool". A story of good vs evil, money vs community, and doing whatever it takes to protect the people you love against insurmountable odds.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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