*** PAGE 4 OF 4 *** THE ARCHIVES *** YOU'VE REACHED THE BOTTOM OF THE WELL ***

8 Minute Reviews

~ A movie, reviewed based on the first 8 minutes. Give or take. ~

» The Reviews — Page 4 of 4 «

March 5, 2025

Presence — Eight Minute Review

The constant motion steadycam might make me vomit and still feels a bit like a gimmick so far, maybe they'll earn it though? It's pulling me out and making me feel like an outsider looking in, maybe that's the point. Eight minutes in and the camera has only cut once, but scene two is just starting and it seems like we might get the first real spook.

🍌🫚🍠🧃

February 22, 2025

Companion — 8 Minute Review

If the guy who said to his girlfriend, "it's ok honeyboop, just smile and act happy" isn't the bad guy, I'm gonna be disappointed. I hope it's not the sketchy older rich-as-hell Russian guy, but something tells me very few characters come out of this innocent. Clearly something bad is gonna happen in this remote modern estate, we already know someone will die, the question now is why and how. The suspense is built nicely and I want to know more, my current question of course is: wtf is in the bag.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ / 10 stars

January 1, 2025

Dan's 8 Minutes In Review: The Favourite

It's got great wigs, slow motion duck racing, witty banter, and a war against the French. What more can you ask for?

October 23, 2024

Uncut Gems

Annoying guy with a gambling addiction will do anything to have someone watch basketball with him. Mostly just yelling and annoying music. Pretty rock. 4/10.

September 20, 2024

Hook

The critics who reviewed Hook were clearly some snot dribbling fart guzzlers. That shit is bangarang.

~ that's all the reviews so far. check back soon ~

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