About This Page

What Is This?

Dan's 8 Minute Reviews: it's pretty simple, I review movies before I've watched the whole thing.

How It All Started

I fell asleep eight minutes into The Green Knight.

The next day, I helpfully informed the group chat about how bad this movie is. Despite being fully justified and correct, I caught some minor flak (not dissimilar to Roger Ebert).

That was the original 8 minute review. Thanks to that boring-ass movie, this site now exists.

Why Eight Minutes?

Did you read the last part? It's when I fell asleep.

When does the eight minutes start?

As soon as the movie starts.

Who Runs This Joint?

I do.

Where's the review of The Green Knight?

I don't have it. My chat history doesn't go back far enough. Someone might. Please send it to me.

Thanks Alex!!

Why don't you have any reviews older than Sept 2024?

That's as far back as my group chat history goes. Again, please send me any reviews I'm missing if you have them.

Thanks Alex and Matt!!

The Rules of This Site

• If i'm enjoying the movie, I usually don't stop to write a review.
• The review window closes whenever I remember to pause.
• Ratings are fact, not opinion.
• Be kind, rewind.
• Don't talk about Dan's 8 Minute Reviews