~ Movies: The first 8(ish) minutes, reviewed. ~
May 22, 2026
Opening with silence and plastic people eating around a table. A quote appears:
when the poor give to the wealthy, the devil doth jizm
Ok I'm on board I guess.
It's immediately implied that this is about money, ( but I now suspect at time if writing - 7 minutes later - that the devil part is literal).
Then there's some very on the nose backstory dialogue about the two kids having been locked in a basement and are now on the run.
"He won't find us"
Famous last words, he (huge; very scary) immediately finds them. Some shit goes down and the older sister shoots him (the dad) and runs from the cops (how did they get there so fast??
Well now that the backstory is out of the way...(I bet it won't be relevant going forward :P )...
Suddenly she's starting her new housekeeper job
"Why are there so many locks?" Great question
Oh wait it's a hotel or something, does that make her a hotelkeeper?
Lot of red flags at this job, they seem scary and rich....the question is, what will they take from her to let the devil cum?
All that is to say, a lot has happened. There's been a full build up to an exciting life altering event, then immediately brought back down to starting a new job, but that backstory was a clear indicator of how quickly this movie intends to ramp things up and to what level. I hope the level/tone changes continue throughout.
P.s. I've seen a big spike in visitors lately, just wanted to say thanks to everyone for visiting
May 6, 2026
way better than the first ten minutes of Scream 7
May 5, 2026
Jimmy Chin really mixed it up with this one. Much more cinematic. Almost seems scripted. If I didn't know any better, I could swear some of it was CGI. It's bold to start off with a big accident, it's a bit disturbing to keep filming after something like that. And it's unlike him to not honor the dead a bit more by telling us his life story first.
Anyway, this has been 9 minutes of Apex, the worst climbing movie I've seen started this year.
May 2, 2026
I don't really know what to say...
This series went from making fun of itself, to making fun of itself making fun of itself.... am I making any sense? Maybe that's a long way of saying not funny.
In terms of plot, predictable. Pretty bad chase scene that seemed weirdly edited.
It could get better, but so far I'm not very invested.
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February 6, 2026
Too many songs.
2/5
*Two many